VICE Party

So, I didn't get to go to the VICE party because I'm stuck in the land of kimchi and plastic surgery, but luckily my friend Finn (who you may remember from this post) stepped in to save the day.


And get a free ticket to see Tom Vek.

Anyway, here's his awesome review, which made me uber jealous.


Can I come home now please?

After years of attempting to secure the vice.com domain from a stubborn porn site, VICE finally beat down the final sex gimp standing in their way.  Some say it was a 3ft tall transsexual midget built like a brick shit house, armed with none other than a 12” black rubber cock and covered from head to toe in KY jelly.  This he/she was not going down without a fight, but, nonetheless VICE prevailed victorious and viceland.com and vbs.tv are now successfully married.  Cue party.

 Upon finally finishing work in the not so sunny welsh capital Cardiff, myself and my ride seated ourselves on the blood red leather seats of his mother in law’s Mazda MX-5 and speedily took to the M4 as hairdressers in disguise.  We needed a ride, judgement will not be tolerated! Running an hour later than planned because of speed caps, traffic jams and crashes we arrived at VICE mag’s busy-ass celebratory party in association with the new free music download site boinc.com, located at Factory 7 in Shoreditch, London. The excitement was as unbearable as the beer thirst that had built up on the journey.  Cool, calm and collected we got our wristbands, blended in with the hipsters, grabbed a beer and lapped up the atmosphere. Having missed half of the acts at this neatly promoted shindig due to our error in geographical placement on the map, we still got to catch all of live acts Factory Floor and headliner Tom Vek.  Factory Floor’s awesome post-apocalyptic disco synth, a really raw and enjoyable sound, brought a resemblance to early Joy Division and worked really well in the build up to Tom Vek.  

Whilst waiting for the latter of the two live acts to set up I thought I would go and check out the other room in the venue which saw Rory Phillip’s bring a fresh and uplifting vibe on the turntables making for a great atmosphere. Torn between the two I decided to head back and get a decent spot to witness the ever evasive Tom Vek who kicked things off with Aroused, carrying on to play most of the singles from his new album Leisure Seizure. It has to be said, the short but sweet set went down a storm, ending with the perfectly fitting I Aint Saying My Goodbyes from his debut album left the crowd screaming for more of his unique addition to the Rock genre. As Tom Vek said his goodbyes, reluctantly, so did myself and my lift. A thoroughly well organised and enjoyable launch party in the prime sector of London, big thanks to VICE and Tallullah Elle. 


Check out Finn's blog and follow him on twitter @finngnk

VICE Launch Party

VICE are having a huge party in London on Thursday because they've managed to acquire the web domain vice.com, which was a porn site in its previous life.

Yay!

I've been offered a pass to cover the event for blog purposes but I can't because of the whole hanging out with Kim Jong Il thang.  I'm pretty gutted because the legendary Tom Vek is playing, along with Factory Floor and Iceage.

  Luckily YOU can go instead.  Yes, that's YOU.  Or at least it will be YOU if you win this competition.  

All you have to do is fill in your details and click submit.  Did I mention that there will be complimentary alcoholic beverages?  And that it will be a huge fuck-off media party full of disgustingly good looking hipsters?

Those are my faves. I'm so upset I can't go.

Also to launch the new website, VICE also want readers to give them feedback in the form of a one-liner.  The most funny/ pithy/ downright outrageous submissions will be featured in the next VICE.com advertising campaign.  To submit your entry then go here, choose an image and paste your idea onto it.  Then blog, tweet and facebook about it.  The winning entry will receive a two page spread in the next VICE issue.

This is my favourite one so far.  Just because I get excited when other people share my skin disease.

Images: VICE

FASHION CATS

I've peddled this useless bit of information about me around on the internet before now, but here it is again: my mission in life is to one day own a cat who looks like me.

I've been putting it off for years because what I truly want is several cats that look like me, a zany floral mumu to cover my sickeningly obese body, a porch to sit out on with strawberry daiquiri in one hand, a jumbo galaxy bar in the other, and a crown on my head.  I don't think I'm ready to achieve this dream yet.  At least not the chronically obese part.

Unfortunately, I think I've found the cat of my dreams in this book by Takako Iwasa.

This is me!

Except for the eye colour.  I wonder if the author knows where I can get some cat contact lenses from?  And maybe she'll make me a matching mumu if I ask nicely?

I'd better start binge eating, just in case.

Images: Vice

Nick Knight

I watched this mini film by Vice Style from the Visionaries series thinking it was going to be a basic piece promoting Nick Knight, legendary photographer and creator of the revolutionary website SHOWstudio. Which is fine because Nick Knight is a talented dude; you won’t need to pay attention to be blown away by the photographic and videographic artwork that the film is punctuated with. Really though, this video is more of a rundown of the history of fashion, with a highly articulate emphasis on what’s happening at the present moment and how this relates to the rest of the world.

If you know nothing about fashion then watch this video to learn about the social, economic and political ideas entangled within that industry you may have passed off as being merely shallow and degenerate.

Ascribing meaning to everything is something you can and should do.  Every part of culture should be given meaning.  If nothing had meaning, then what would be the point?

Also, hope you all haven't been affected too much by these shitty riots.

Image: Vice

The Thorium Dream

I've got a lot of spare time coming up and it's going to be hot hot hot outside.  This means I'll be spending my time wisely by watching conspiracy theory documentaries in a cool, dark room, while drinking raspberry vodka.  

The Thorium Dream will be at the top of my list.  I fully believe from the insane natural disasters that keep occurring that the world needs to seek safer energy, and I for one will happily support people who are looking for alternatives methods and sources.  Plus the anarchist inside of me (she's hidden somewhere underneath all the apathy) loves a bit of government bashing.

The Most Evil People in Fashion

This hilarious article on Vice about the most evil people in fashion reminded me of a previous post I wrote about Kim Jong Il being a fashionista.  It also got me thinking about how Kate Moss has been getting her evil on recently by wearing a dress designed by alleged racist John Galliano on her wedding day. 

This led into me deciding that Kim Jong Il and Kate Moss are pretty much the same person.  Let's look at the facts: Both are rumoured to have had dealings with drugs, both barely ever speak in public and both have this air of enigmatic mystery surrounding them as a result.

In fact, the only disparity I can find between them at all is that Kim has bigger moobs than Moss.

Who do you think is the most evil person in fashion? Or who, in your opinion, is fashionably evil?


(Image: Kim Jong Il Looking at Things)

Voodoo and Vaccines

The first time I ever felt guilt at being privileged enough to be from a developed country was as a twelve-year old in Thailand.  I saw a leper, wizened from the disease and begging for money on the street.  He had one baht in his wooden bowl and I had ten in my hand.  I didn't give him my money.  I spent it on candyfloss at the beach.  I felt horrible about it for days afterwards, and still feel the same way about eating candyfloss as Naomi Campbell should when she wears fur and diamonds (dickhead).

Watching Voodoos and Vaccines, a joint VBS and One production about made me think about this sense of guilt that reoccurs when I think about the disparity between my less-than-affluent, generally mediocre life and that of some of those in the developing world.  It comes from that feeling that I should be doing more than just buying a charity shop dress once in a while.  I wish that filling in my details on a digital petition at the end of the documentary made me feel warm and glowy, but it's not quite enough, is it?

(Although you should all sign it immediately.  It's a start at least).

Does anyone else get this almost childish urge to save the world one moment, only to feel hypocritical, selfish and useless in the next?

Beautiful Liverpool

The new offering from Leo Leigh and Andy Capper is up on VBS as part of the highly acclaimed (probably) Rule Britannia series, which also launched the insanely brilliant short Swansea Love Story (which I mentioned in one of my first ever posts).  Beautiful Liverpool is about the current steroid and tanning drug culture in the city that gave the world Brookside and Cilla Black.

Excuse me while I slather myself in fake tan and put a peg on my nose in an attempt to adopt the perfect Liverpudlian nasal pitch, ready for immersing myself in the first mini episode.  Bring on the grit, sleaze and cheeze.

Creating Coachella

Whenever I think about Coachella festival my brain seems to go into American mode and I overexcitedly ponder about how 'sick' and 'rad' it would be to be able to go.  I'm already spasming with jealousy when I think about the lucky people who'll be dancing in the desert to MY favourite bands* while I'm stuck at home thousands of miles away, angrily making a shrine to The Strokes out of fake sand and cacti.

(a home-made portrait of Julian Casablancas.  Not made out of fake sand obvs.)

Orrrr just keeping up with the coverage online.  Which I can now start as The Creators Project have teamed up with Coachella this year.  If you don't know much about the project, it started off in 2010 promoting established and up-and-coming artists who use technology to create their pieces.  In 2011 they are commissioning their own art, becoming pioneers in the field of technological creation.  They'll be doing this in a big way at Coachella, fusing music and live art together with huge interactive installations.

In view of this they've created this trailer in the prelude to Coachella, featuring a 'physical manifestation' of Spiritualized's J. Spaceman singing 'Ladies and Gentlemen, We are Floating in Space', as filmed by Jonathan Glazer:

Thanks to The Creators Project I'm no longer jealous of Coachella attendees.  It's made me realise that you don't need to actually attend festivals to enjoy them.  That's like, so 2010.  It's now all about locking yourself in your bedroom at your parents' house and living virtually and vicariously through the screen of your laptop, before, during and after the event.

Right...?

*an extensive list including Angus and Julia Stone, Animal Collective, Boys Noize, Brandon Flowers, Bright Eyes, Broken Social Scene, Cage the Elephant, City and Colour, Crystal Castles, CSS, Elbow, Empire of the Sun, Fat Freddy’s Drop, Foals, High Contrast, Hurts, Interpol, Jack Beats, Jack’s Mannequin, Jimmy Eat World, Kanye West, Kele, Kings of Leon, Klaxons, Mumford & Sons, Nas & Damian Marley, Ratatat, The Chemical Brothers, The Drums, The Kills, The New Pornographers, The Strokes, The Two Door Cinema Club and Yelle.


Makes me wanna cry die.